It is said that the space right outside of your own comfort zone, is the optimal space for self-improvement, leading me to believe if one is anxious about the very essence of the everyday, the most masochistic of us become champions within the realm of the auto-didactic.

Be hard: be Picard Hard.

I usually come into these things strategically pointed, cause I know people like a clean narrative. I think due to the notion of the yearning for the immaculate, I have a lust for the imperefct, and we are all better off in our own absurdities in the acknowledgment of this, in exploring the immensely chaotic virtual space, regardless of how authentic we are being.

I think maybe, that’s a really interesting point to dive into, cause how people present themselves online is quite telling, but maybe not necessarily for the obvious reasons. There is something to be said of the hyper-fictionalization of self through the online space, this is true, but I think the reasons that prompt this are far more fascinating.

And I can’t help but be both tragically endeared and simultaneously horrified at both the insecurities of others, just as much as the pettiness of some, though I think the fixation on where one person may go wrong, is bloated in an equivalent standard of where so many go right, and it reminds me once again that, in spite of being a self-described cynic, I often remain the most optimistic individual in the room.

Social media really has made fools of us all, and I can’t help but feel compelled to bring up AI in the same breath, cause it is now just a guaranteed evil in our world. This starts to get into some seriously oblique territory, as we all slide down the slope of irrational madness attempting to make sense of the passions of men and software alike, a mimicy upon mimicy of sad devices and systems, an ouroboros eating itself vile, as the consumption of imagined flawless pervades the realm and reaps nothing less than a tragedy betwixt consciousness and imagination alike.

I’m reminded of similar frustrations with a citation to one of my pieces on Metal Gear Solid 3 (MGS3), and how effortlessly frustrating the turn signal paradox becomes, as people have no patience for anything else but the path of least resistance and habituation of the laziest sort. Related to the metaphor of both being disappointed with “the other” in the realm of stealth, and also with the foolish clowns behind the wheel of a large automobile, I often comment on the all too common reality of how many descend into the depths of abhorrent madness behind the wheel, the lions share of consciousness opting for tyranny rather than diplomacy, though once again, this may be malevolent bias vs the actual factual truth of the matter, our over sensitive imagination and our raw, untamed out of control anxieties be damned, ever so ready to pin the sins of the few on the competency of the many, not realizing we often focus on the negative, instead of celebrating the positive with the same kind of energetic gusto.

I can see now why Kant was so compelled to inform others of his grand vision of the categorical imperative, in earnest hopes others may embrace the idea of a shared idea of fathoming, immorality par for the course for everyone, but a consideration on the matter rarely exercised in any serious regard. Without a carrot and stick strategy, however, you begin to see the follies of man ever present in their own hedonistic machinations, a quick reminder that if there is no tangible reward for being a virtuous person, why bother? It is perhaps why out of all ideologies, the one Marx warned us of, in all of its insidiously self-destructive, exploitative glory, effortlessly succeeding in co-opting our basest common urges as ridiculous common denominators, we are left to be toxic to a sad currency of failed standard, becoming corrosive to all in even the most simplest of exposures.

I guess to be reinforcing of the basic reality of cynicism vs the reality of the situation…the every day and humanity at large I mean, we need look no further than a comment section on the internet to see the same corrosive ideological standard that becomes the anonymous tyrannical insanity driving forward the metal madness of perverse, sexual projection in the absence of any better metaphorical conduit in which to purge our evils into.

As I continue to signpost my favorite preponderance, the one involving the explication “Empathy is the greatest wisdom”, I’m reminded of my own, salty sweet caramel center, encased in this hardened exterior few care to chew through, out of both fear and indifference, and there once again is the reminder, of the ideological loneliness of the other, always wanting company, but much like Heidegger’s hedgehog, too afraid to get close, out of the fear of the pain of closeness and intimacy, as we are destined to prick one another with the harm of self and the weight of the anxious world carried on our wearied back.

One of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut, once pointed out “we are what we pretend to be, so be careful what you pretend to be”, as a casual but ardent warning against taking false pretense within the rhythmic tendencies of breathless habituation, and avoid adopting the guise, visage, or otherwise fictionalized self, lest you be ruled by the avatar you’ve regulated yourself to. Perhaps the people who need to hear this the most, only show their own ass, in the moment there was no helping them to begin with, an outlier of a much greater, more inspiring amorphous mass of collective individualism, that when spoken to one to one, has an authentic self, genuine warmth, considerate modesty, and perhaps even caring charity that is maintained within the modest values of their day to day affairs.

To seek such camaraderie in the online space, however, is akin to playing a game of hide and seek within the depths of the Mariana Trench…

…either side of the game you play to win is a terrifying endeavor of victory, as successfully staying hidden means you remain within the haunted depths as a monstrous horror-show, and being the finder has a similar;y paradoxical winning fail state, as it leaves you with nothing else but a confrontation with the equivalent of the devil himself.

-Pashford