Sometimes, it’s the thought that counts.


Other times, it’s probably for the best to leave well enough the fuck alone

Here I am, at the end of the day, attempting to get something posted before midnight, not necessarily coming in totally prepared with a bunch of gameplay under my belt to reference, nor am I in love with many of the headlines of the day, so it looks like I’ll just have to wing it, ramble for a bit, and hope I land on a topic of interest. While I have espoused in the past I’m of the mind one should not mindlessly prattle about, and not just interject nonsense into the ether, I am also still beholden to my self-imposed challenge of writing everyday, so here we are.

Hard for me to say whether or not video games are unique in this regard, pushing people to almost engage with them with a work like mentality involved, or if that is more of a unique me like quality I posses, and one that I have imbued within them based on personal engagement levels. I wonder if many find themselves almost seeing them as more of a source of a grind than anything else. I’ve similarly mentioned in the past, for me, video games aren’t necessarily about “fun” as much as they are more of an ideal of engagement, an interesting way to conjure up thoughts about the world, spurring creativity, a fantastic Trojan horse of philosophical commentary, etc. Fun almost seems like such a tragic simplicity to relegate games too, and they’re better off being considered for far greater metrics of consideration.

Let’s see…I may yet run through Gears of War Remastered, more so due to the fact that: it is free, and it is short, two excellent qualities I prefer in my video games, if we are discussing matters of interest solely in reference to my writing. Being able to sit down and plow right through an experience in one sit down is one of my favorite activities, and something I use to love to do with a number of series. Sometimes out of love of speedrunning, sometimes out of a sense of creating an eventful challenge for my everyday. In fact, since I’ve been writing about video games for the better part of the past couple of decades, I find it quite queer that I don’t think I’ve ever detailed such happenings in any great moments of magnified interest, which is bewildering, to say the least. Though, when I sit down and think about just how many interesting gaming stories or anecdotes I have kicking around in my own mental warehouse that have never made it to print, I’m genuinely floored by the amount of experience you wouldn’t even know I have, and it may yet remain that way indefinitely. For some reason, I’m not necessarily a man who seeks great amounts of fame or some certifiable proof of egotistical conquest of display, more so being quite content with the mystique and mystification process bound by off-screen enterprises forever bedazzled by their sense of mystery.

I’m also a big vibe kind of guy, so if my heart isn’t “in it” so to speak, it just isn’t happening. I refuse to sacrifice my better sense of self-interest for the sake of inane monotony, even if it involves some favoring courtship of divine like reenactments of my own conquests. Besides, I do believe it is important to practice what one preaches, and one of my pet peeves is for nerds to basically be running down a condensed version of their own personal resume at any given moment, always letting whatever audience member they have at their fortunate whim just how colossally nerdy they really are. I have this idea kicking around in my head of philosophically related value involving the notion of being a “collage” of ones interests, with some other juicy key words that leave me itching to write down the idea in full, though I will prevent myself from letting such an undercooked idea out into the wild fully until it is ready. So many ideas that need more time in the conceptual oven…one of these days, I’ll have the schedule to really start cooking for the hungry masses at large, I reckon.

I’m guessing by years end I will have acquired a Switch 2, more so that I can say I acquired all three console updates within the same calendar year of time, but a monkey wrench of malevolence may yet be thrown into my gears of finer judgement in this regard. DK Bananza may yet be a worthy enough title on its own merits to justify the acquisition, though now I lack the immediate funds, where as before I lacked the urgent desire to acquire Nintendo’s newest nonsense, in spite of the fact I knew I would eventually get one. I just think living authentically is likely the best state of affairs, and getting a new, pricey consumer product “just because” has a terrible smack of mindless privilege attached to it, either that, or something equally worse, like a codependency not totally dissimilar to an addictive sense of shallow consumerism which would spur me on, which has never been my style. Even if I still consider my writing “work” in a sense, it remains vital to maintain a sense of authenticity and standards, lest one be nothing but a mindless drone or a heartless mercenary in matters both big and small, and by days end, if one does not have their values intact, what is one left with?

Seems as if despite my best efforts, I was unable to trip into a better, more cohesive idea related to gaming, philosophy, or a hybrid thesis possibly involving psychoanalysis bridging the two. C’est la vie, I’m sure something of a far more cohesive fascination will come to me in the next day or two, at which point, we shall convene here once again, in some kind of moment of mutual interest, and one that I look forward to sprinkling with pearls of wisdom, for which you may take on your merry way.

Appreciate your time as always, and may you find something of value to continue to occupy the rest of your moments this day with.

~Pashford