To be silly is to be wise: when one gooses; one rebels.

To wit; goose as hard as you fucking can

I’m not at my most refined or heightened sense of thinking and writing this week, but all the more reason to try my hand at producing something of value, as the idea of only getting out of bed when you are guaranteed everything will go completely smoothly and in your favor is complete lunacy, and a strategy only fit for the clinically insane and the perversely privileged.

In thinking back to some of my thoughts that didn’t necessarily start with my playthrough of Hollow Knight: Silksong, but it was quite the informative experience, and pushed me to craft some excellently interesting theories. For example, and in spite of what may sound like a paradoxical posit, I am both confident and serious when I assert the point that the point of most video games is not in fact, to be fun. When you really boil down what games have become, it almost sounds like shallow madness to look at any single one of them, and say “I’m so happy with how much fun this video game is.”, and the reason for this, at least in part, is because you are not five years old.

I think as we all grow older, and I’m not just talking about physically aging, I mean psychologically aging too, one quickly realizes that there is so much more to life than just the simplistic pleasure of happiness, in all of its ridiculously reductionist rambunction. I think part of this stems from what we value, and happiness itself is such a fleeting feeling, it almost ends up representing something cheap and metallic, like sucking on a greasy coin; not a true wealth in any sense of the word, and certainly not the more worthy of goals.

In so many of the conversations I’ve had with others about games, we never really ever focus on just the goofy matter of “whether or not the game is fun”. No, we usually discuss how grand the story is, or even what we think about character arcs or the implementation of ideology or the world building involved. Maybe if we are discussing something multiplayer related, we will talk about the metagame, or the new approach to the physics engine or what not. All of this and more, and yet we never really focus on the “fun factor”, definitely not in those words. I find the same to be true when people talk about IRL sports, watching games for the sake of a loose narrative, discussing teams through the lens of statistical analytics etc, it’s always about something much less superficial, something far more robust, intricately intrinsic and deeply inciting than the simplicity of fun factor.

And why does this all relate to age? I think as we grow older, we start to realize the value of things, and what actually matters in our own lives. Visceral pleasures quickly rank fairly low on the bottom of the list, with arguably something only as powerful as sex standing out as something physically engaging in its rudimentary mechanics, but at least quite intoxicating in terms of where pursuit is concerned. And even then, I would argue the relevancy of sex for most is about a great many things that are contingent on the person we are with, and not just the simplistic act itself, which continues to open up the idea that the richest values and greatest pursuits so completely eclipse something as quaint as the simple idea of the act itself, or the purely distilled notion of where fun is concerned, not even secondary or tertiary in all of our grand desires.

I’ve talked before about how all of us are always “Becoming”, never quite where we want to be, and never a moment where their is a one true finish line, for a myriad of reasons. Becoming, as a concept, is rife with hardship, and struggle, and despair, failure, frustration, sacrifice etc…I would argue very little of the idea of “fun” goes into the process of Becoming, as it just isn’t a very integral ingredient in what makes a great individual. In fact, in some of my more daring and bold moments, I’ve even asserted the notion that happiness and fun have almost a sickly privilege to them, and that one should strive for far greater adversities than resting on laurels and stagnating through the realm of idle happiness and fun. That might make a fun topic for another article, but not my focus today, though it does underline how much of ourselves we usually see in a given moment in time, how it relates to that eternal quest of becoming, and how the ways to continue the becoming process involve hardship and turmoil, with fun kind of just acting as a stupefying distraction, in many ways.

I think all of this relates to a far grander notion, that throws such shade at fun, we realize in order to become the best we want to be, feel powerful in ways that would not be possible without struggle and sacrifice, and generally feel more satisfied in aiming higher than the feelings a pig may get rolling around in a sty, is to speak to values far more enriching than fun could ever be. As we mature throughout life, we realize this more and more, with fun at some point even seemingly standing in the way of greater pursuits and senses of self, certainly having too much fun ends up reminding us how little we have done in the way of becoming, which relates to something that feels akin to lost time, and since time is a finite resource, and one that is non recoverable, perhaps one of the most damaging psychic ideas one could cope with.

So yes, for all of this articles sloppiness, and its struggling sense of focus that is keeping us grounded, I’d posit the notion that in order to get anywhere in life for most people, and in order to gain insight worth actual merit, also in the sense of achieving a greater sense of becoming who we want to be, we end up valuing something like sacrifice with far greater regard, maybe not fully consciously so, but we know we must dispense with blood, sweat, and tears, to get anything worthwhile out of ourselves, and life in general. When one looks at something as cheap and tawdry as fun, one finds an excessively easy to conclude pick for worthwhile sacrifice, to be tossed on the alchemical pile of transference, as giving up fun for a better sense of ourselves, in some amazing way, is an easy trade to make. Easy in the sense of realizing what we gain, but difficult in what comes after the easy part, but coming full circle, it is the challenge, the inherent difficulty, and the struggle of giving up fun and going beyond for something greater, something like ourselves, that exposes just how worthless fun ends up being.

Interesting thoughts, to be sure, and in less tired moments, perhaps an article that may have had the chance to possess much greater flow and polish, but I think it’s important to embrace the messy, and forgo the idea that we are all invincible avatars that can do no wrong, and find value in showcasing our flaws, especially in the virtual space. The truth shall set us free.

As always, take care of yourself, and others.

-Pashford