Though I’m not entirely certain I’ve articulated this thought in writing on ATE before, it’s certainly one that bears repeating now: fail faster.


The faster you fuck it up, the faster you can either find out how to fix this shit, or figure out how to do it better next time

Been awhile since I wrote a “Words Of Wisdom”, as I went on a hiatus of sorts, taking a break from what ended up being an epic run of writing and a tremendously ambitious schedule of self-improvement that lasted for over six months for the better part and through the end of 2025. My eventual step back from the insanity was, luckily, not a dumpster fire crash out as it has manifested in the past, due to recognizing ahead of time that I was on the doorstep of burnout, before said burning truly took hold, so I think overall, I was careful enough to be conscious of my own mental health to know when I needed a break, which is an area of growth for me. In the past, I had always attempted to push myself to my limits and beyond, feigning this faux level of immortality, like nothing could stop me. My confidence may have been unwavering, but my body certainly wasn’t as invincible as my spirit was, a harsh lesson one learns as the years march on, with your raggedy ass body dragging right behind. The ultimate lesson learned: the body keeps the score.

Needless to say, life is tough, even when one isn’t dealing with another “unprecedented historical event”, a broken economy, wars, genocide, and the rapidly wilting flower of freedom being plagued by the lithe vileness that drips off of the foul back of the nightmare beast known as fascism. Even the relatively simple task of gaming sometimes drifts to the wayside, as I find myself too distracted or entrenched in the periphery of disaster to be able to expend the energy I need or availing my emotionally resonating je ne sais quoi to offer up my consciousness without limit due to these reasons and other even queerer mitigating factors that are seemingly beyond reasonable articulation.

This past week, I’ve been replaying GoldenEye 64, for a bunch of disparate reasons. Firstly, I kind of wanted to see how much my memory had morphed about the game since the last time I played it, which if I recall correctly, was about two years, so not that long. I think I was initially annoyed by my return, as the control scheme on the Switch was horrendously setup, and I wanted to kind of readapt to getting use to it. I knew there was a way to tweak it, but I was seized with this overwhelming stubborn urge to play as is, which reminded me of the time I decided to challenge myself by playing through and beating Super Meat Boy on a keyboard…*shudders*….frightening times, indeed. I also played it on Secret Agent, which, for any of you not in the know, is the 2nd of the three “real” difficulties available, and it is absolutely no walk in the park. In fact, it reminds you of how just far first person shooters have come since the late 90’s, even in regards to a title that is considered a benchmark experience.

I don’t normally bother myself with trips down memory lane, as I find those who flirt with the past, kind of live with too much regret, or travel “back in time” because they aren’t truly happy with their current situation, whether they’re totally conscious of it or not. And, hey; I get it, even just referencing some of the woes I mentioned at the beginning of this article, wanting to use the emergency escape hatch into fiction and fantasy is a tried and true method of weathering the proverbial storm, as it were, and we all have different coping mechanisms, and in our best moments, they aren’t completely self-destructive vices. Luckily, I have several pursuits that are constructively beneficial to building a better sense of self, whether it be through gaming, writing, philosophy, cycling, or just thinking in and of itself, which is certainly an underrated activity. The fact so many people are “afraid” to sit with their own thoughts says to me they live in fear, doubt, and an unwillingness to know themselves, which sounds like one of the most dreadfully pointless methods of self-torture I can fathom.

If we consider the realm of thought, which in a point of fact, can’t really exist in a vacuum, we need to interact with the world to keep the essence of idea and spirit alive within us, as the brain needs to be fed material to have something to think about, as all of existence is inherently referential, so without the fuel of reality to keep us going, the engine of our brain would simply refuse to run. Seems like such a simple and salient point, almost self-evident, but it’s these simple truths sometimes, the ones that are not just in front of our face, but the ones that literally encase and preserve us within the idea of life itself, we tend to suffer from a myopic episode of nearsightedness, whether it be from a form of self-delusion or just deep confusion, the truth that surrounds us can remain an utter mystery, if we don’t stop every once in awhile to think about it and ask the simple question of why?

Which does lead to a point I’ve advocated about before, though I don’t think it was ever as front and center as I’m making it now, and it’s about being your best self. I feel as if this is a fairly universal endeavor, and one that I don’t (or at least) shouldn’t have to put a whole lot of hustling into for others to be picking up what I’m throwing down.

To wit; if everyone put effort into being their best self, everyone ends up benefiting, as we then all gain a greater sense of motivation and virtue in connecting, helping each other, and fostering a greater sense of community along with it. This is all the while still maintaining what makes us who we are, with all of the shiny brightness of self-refinement, whether that be through cognitive efforts, or physical feats, or acts of kindness and bravery, or being adept and skilled at something. Everyone on Earth has the choice to be who they want to be, they just have to set their mind on a goal, and find a way to make it happen. Easier said than done, I know, but putting yourself in that head space is key to starting your journey of self-discovery, as remaining in doubtful insecurity, lamentable apathy, or bitter resentment, will only ever leave you stewing in your own self-pity, and I don’t think anyone got much further than sitting in a wet metaphysical puddle of sadness of their own making by doing such a thing.

To wrap up, I always put a lot of thought into these “Words Of Wisdom”, and even though I’m rusty right now, after needing some downtime to process my own emotions and thoughts, I didn’t let that stop me from being who I wanted to be. I gave myself some time to recharge, took a breather, then picked myself up, brushed myself off, set my mind on a goal, and started the tireless march forward to reclaim my own identity, and even recommence the process of self-refinement, as I’ve always agreed with the sentiment: the only person you ever need to compete with on a daily basis, is with who you were yesterday. Attempt to be better than that person, and you’ll never fail to see a way forward.

Take care of yourselves, and others.

~Pashford