When all else fails, fail harder.

An a for effort, at the very least

I know this might sound strange, but I venture a bet you may yet understand what I reference, there is a split mind moment going on with me right now. The split exists between reason and emotionality, and I’m not suggesting they can’t coexist, I’m saying there is a bizarre moment of realization that they wrestle for the drivers seat, and whomever the vibes favor, wins.

I’m usually someone super locker in to decintructionism, analysis, more kind of logically driven. I am, however, a man of broad stokes, and my perpetual lean goes hard one way or the other. Probably explains why I’m leaning hard on who gives a shit. That’s usually why I don’t dip into emotionality; it slows down the work. If there is a goal in mind, we have a target to hit. All of this existentialist nonsense that drives me to a writhing in hope of desperate surviving is played out. Venting is fine, but to remain oblique, swimming in a sea of non-controversy, one becomes as interesting as a barnacle.

I truly could not tell you if this is an authentic citation of the source of my own proclivities as of late, but I’ve had a rather Nietzschian outlook on life recently. As an ardent enjoyer of the philosophical realm, there is plenty to chew on, and most of it more tasty than Nietzsche. However, the man had no problems making good points. One of my favorites involving embracing flaw, and even synthesizing it within one’s own endeavors.

As mentioned before, I’m unfortunately haunted by a split mind currently, so totally antithetical to the idea of the grounded ideals.

This, however, was more of an address about the ideal just out of reach and away from one, so a reality always dreamt but never fully lived, and possibly only ever realized through the idea of an impossible strivance of inspiration. Strangely utopic for a thinker so mired in the “never not impossible”.

Well…this was going to be a great article. Shared learning moment time: appreciate all of the words you wrote instead of all the words you didn’t write….which, when viewed through that lens, or at least contextualized within that perspective, I suppose this article has come full circle, and somehow turned nto something great in it’s own paradoxical way.

I’ll be back tomorrow to make more sense of all of this.

-Pashford