We all deserve a break; and one of the best favors you can do for yourself is self care.


Sitting is a seriously underrated activity

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a “Words of Wisdom” (WoW), and to be honest, I think the bar is getting a little high, as I feel as if I’ve had some absolute bangers recently, so I’ve just got to shrug off the notion that every WoW has to be the best thing ever or set a a new standard in insightful wisdom, and just land on being comfortable with “good enough”, which is a metric of quality that deserves more appreciation, I feel. With all o that said, let’s talk some shop and see if we can’t spread some good will and inspire some virtuous behavior this day.

I think one of the reasons I’ve always felt comfortable dispensing advice through my WoW’s, is twofold. Firstly, I’ve surmounted quite a bit of personal hardships in my life, so just about every time I dispense some outlook or some helpful pointers, it’s overwhelmingly due to the fact I’ve tried it out on myself, and I saw some positive results. Secondly, as anyone who’s read the site for awhile is likely aware, I’m a big fan of philosophy, and sometimes it’s hard to either speak either directly about metaphysics or virtue ethics in a meaningful manner when discussing video games, without feel like you’re unnecessarily jamming the point in like some kind of terribly suited makeshift doorstop, so the breathing room in these segments is a definite boon to my thought process. As a side note, I’ve been up all night, and therefore a little more rambly and stream of consciousness than usual right now, hence the casual build up, so I appreciate the patience.

Today, I thought at fitting subject for the WoW would be involving the idea “Kick Your Copium”, which is just a more slangful way of saying do away with one of your coping mechanisms, as it is likely a crutch you don’t need anymore. This is a tough one to deal with, I am aware of that, and I’m not saying you can do this one overnight, or even totally erase it from your life completely, but, every little step you take towards your goal is a little bit of progress, and when you’ve made no progress at all, a little bit of progress ends up being an awful lot of progress, which is worthy of celebration.

Obviously, the vice in question is going to be different for everyone, and you might have multiple, most people do, so maybe if you want to do a test run on this, pick one of the easier ones to manage or that you could more easily do without, and set a goal for yourself to reduce your use, one day at a time. A vice can be literally anything that might be doing one of two things: giving you a false sense of security, or two, genuinely impacting either your mental or physical health. Obviously, if this is one of the more serious vices, like substance dependency, this might take a lot more effort, and require a ton of heavy lifting involving support groups, therapy, and maybe even meds, in order to start your journey, but thankfully, there are many other kinds of vices that are detrimental without being life threatening, and infinitely more manageable. One that springs to mind, and one of the more nefariously stealthy ones that plagues the majority of the populace is phone time/social media, quite honestly, and is a good place to start your introspective journey in cultivating a better day, for a better you.

I think one of the reasons it’s important to do this kind of self-inventory every once in awhile, is because ideally speaking, we are always evolving as people, developing as individuals, and aspiring to be the best versions of ourselves, something I’ve touched on before. To do this, we have to do full assessments, and check our blind spots, because it’s always the things that are likely the least in focus that become the most problematic of our everyday, and require the most immediate attention and care. While I am no stranger to the notion that coping mechanisms seem like they’re the only thing that help with the everyday, and sometimes, when things are really stressful, they feel like the only escape, it’s when we don’t stop using them after the danger times are over, fall into the bad habit of defaulting to them, and never again question how much they’re getting in the way of the everyday, which ends up making them this ever present Sword of Damacles that hangs over our head, and prevents us from truly flourishing as individuals.

Now, one irony here I haven’t mentioned is that a vice isn’t always something so obviously destructive: not every vice is purely negative, or only acts as a net drain on the body. Mental health is just as real as physical health, and both need to be taken with the same level of care, and to that point, vices can actually take the form of activities we deem as beneficial or positive, not realizing they’re also getting in the way of us either putting off confronting problems that we’ve been ignoring, or just not giving ourselves some time to breathe, as we fear having enough time to think about our lives or actually feel something. We may also have a confused sense of ego, backwards priorities, or a delusional sense of self-worth, when we could take the time to cultivate ourselves, and eventually realize we don’t have to be defined by this one thing to have personal worth.

A couple of examples of these are overexertion in any field of interest, so one can even exercise too much, be too focused on dietary habits, be spending too much time sleeping, maybe someone has become a workaholic because they find it easier to avoid dealing with issues when they’re too busy making money. Hell, even something like reading too many books or spending too much time with media in general (video games, etc) can lead to a fixation that gets in the way of us taking the time to realize something is wrong, and that we are avoiding an issue or understanding ourselves cause it’s easier to do so: but in reality you’re just betraying yourself, and putting off the rest of your life as a result.

So, my challenge to you, at some point this week, is to look at everything you do in the day, pick out one of the things you do habitually, and ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I enjoy it? Or I am doing this because I’m use to doing it?” Maybe another answer is “because I don’t know what else to do with myself“, or some variation of those answers, will probably give you insight into what you seek. Ultimately, deep down, we kind of know when something is up, and if you take away the white noise for two seconds, and really ask yourself “Is this a problem/is this getting in the way of life/am I doing this too much?”, then by virtue of you asking the question, the answer is probably yes.

Once you figure that out, think of some steps to reduce your time with it, and work towards either a healthy reduction, or maybe even kick the copium completely for awhile, and see if your everyday or well being improves. If it does, you’re one step closer to flourishing my friend, and one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the tools you need to become more self-aware and effortlessly honest. Both of these virtuous acts committed on a regular basis will eventually lead one to self-actualize, and help you become the best possible version of you, through and through, and isn’t that what it’s all about?

As always, take care of yourself, and others.

~Pashford