(Tl;dr video companion for this article):

We often times take for granted some obvious truths due to being overwhelmed with excitement in the moment


Some of these truths are more painful than others, but our inability to notice them all come off tasting just as bitter

The transition from Kid Link to Adult Link in Ocarina of Time is definitely one of the coolest time skips in gaming, and the way it segments the overall experience is just a very memorable standout for the medium overall, not just the Zelda series. While it is true Ocarina takes a lot of pages out of Link to the Past’s book, in that game acting as almost like a 2D prototype in many ways for Ocarina (though the same could be said for many of Nintendo’s SNES titles that got N64 follow ups), the time skip seems way more monumental in impact and execution than the contrasting nature of what the Dark World represented in LttP. The 3D visuals obviously helped a lot with the heavy lifting in this regard, but I suppose when one stops to consider the 4th dimensionality of it all, with the Master Sword acting as a…link to the past, *ahem* the timey-wimeyness of the whole development still seems just as cool now as it did then, even though it was definitely more of a mind blower, back in the day.


LINK MAI B….err, MY MAN! MY MAIN MAN!

Of course, as is the case with most time skips, it wouldn’t feel like a true passage of time, if one didn’t feel the cold effects of entropy run their course on the surrounding land and peoples that inhabit it, which is why upon departure of the Temple of Time, the cruel realization that Ganon has truly brought hell to Hyrule becomes far too evident a reality, as we look around and see a completely desolated wasteland and the sad remains of what use to be Hyrule Castle Town. We’re also treated to Hyrule Castle being replaced by the visage of a massive series of black towers, with ominous smoke swirling overhead, as the edifice itself hovers above a blazing pit of hot lava boiling below. We’d probably be more paralyzed in place by the horrifying sight that is such a warped abomination of a structure, if we weren’t already frozen in place by one of the many ReDead’s that now fester in the market square.


I didn’t work my ass off to find a way to travel through time just so a zombie could give me a freaking hickey for Christ sake

Needless to say: things are absolutely fucked. From a thematic standpoint, there is a sense of radical intrigue that Nintendo allowed one of the main series to get so dark, from an in-game perspective, we gotta get the fuck out of dodge, and getting down to business if we plan to pull Hyrule back from the brink. While I do recall there being enough of a difference between how Young Link and Adult Link controlled differently, I’d say it feels more pronounced in this one, though this could be more of a praise for the audio design then anything else, as the viscerality of the hefty weight difference and how it effects Link’s movements is an ever present feeling. Which seems like an obvious thing, but you could easily see a lesser developer kind of just being lazy enough to have some goofy shit going on like just having what is essentially an incredibly enlarged character model of Young Link running around, and what a tragic state of affairs that would be.


Like, I’m imagining a way worse developer just doing something like the equivalent of giving Young Link a DK mode thing going on ala Goldeneye 64 for his adult phase and calling it a day

I didn’t immediately obtain Epona upon becoming an adult, but that was more due to an unfortunate snag in my scheduling today, giving me far less time than I thought I was going to have to enjoy myself, so I decided I should just beeline it to Kakariko to nab the hookshot, so I can get to dimantling the Forest Temple pronto. A lamentable state of affairs, as my initial plan was to savor this Remake a bit more leisurely, but I had to have something of substance for this very article, and the easiest way to get something worthwhile to write about is by putting in the time and kicking the ass that goes with it. As I finished up my race with Dampe on my first try, I’m starting to realize the ongoing trend of what this remake is bringing to the table, and perhaps I was just dismissing the pattern thus far due to the Kid portion of the game taking a more generous tact overall, but it was becoming overwhelmingly obvious that Nintendo may have gone a little too hard on streamlining portions of this game, as I have faced almost no resistance where I remember there being quite a lot in many areas. My fear after obtaining the hookshot is that Nintendo may have “Idiot Proofed” this game a little too much, and that this fact was going to continue to be a glaringly prominent source of contention for me for the rest of the adventure.


This Wolfos’ face somehow tells the story of which I speak

Fast forwarding to the Sacred Grove, and while I was expecting the massively hulking moblins that guard the narrow corridors to the Forest Temple to have an impressive ugliness to them, as their original models always stood out as menacing, even for a game filled with nightmarishly ghoulish character models, I was not ready for how absolutely caked the moblins would end up being.


Sheesh…should have been rated M for massive fucking ass cheeks

They make them a lot more docile in this version, in spite of the tremendous caking going on deep in these woods, so as long as one is patient and stays out of their direct line of vision, one can easily sneak past them. Of course, the big boss moblin with the shockwave club attack still attempts to assault you, but the strategy has not changed, so a couple of alternating jumps to the side will see you to victory. After the strangely nice smelling ninja bro teaches you a song on his harp, we have finally arrived at the Forest Temple, with both its unsettling atmosphere and totally off putting music fully orchestrated, to more effectively haunt our eardrums and live rent free in our head as we push forward to victory.


Regardless of the excessive idiot proofing/nerfing going on, the Forest Temple, in terms of pure aesthetic and atmosphere, still goes fucking hard where it counts

I think the only thing in the Forest Temple that remained a delightful surprise was how actively agro the Stalfos’s fights were. I’m not sure if this is due to me dropping my guard because almost every other enemy is a push over, or if they were some of the only enemies that Nintend didn’t nerf, but both sets of these mini-bosses definitely had me on my back foot the entire time, which I was a fan of, as in spite of the game possessing some fun combat, it rarely involves straight up sword fights, so whenever you go against another sword wielder, it feels especially awesome. Though I was thankful those battles represented something of a stiff challenge, by the time I was rolling up to Phantom Ganon’s boss room, I realized I had arrive there in perhaps too easy of a fashion, as I think Nintendo perhaps went a little too far in idiot proofing this game, as almost all of the huge snags that would trip up a players progress felt like none issues.


I just wish this level played as good as it looked

I know that since I’ve played this an uncountable number of times, I can’t expect the developers to possibly remix it enough to throw someone like me into a tizzy of struggle when playing through this game for the Nth time, but having said that, part of the charm of this game, and many other Zelda titles, is that the road forward is not always a smooth, straight forward one. The player must be ready to tackle rough challenges and be prepared for a bumpy ride. Where as when I started this adventure, it felt like we had a game that was maintaining a fine balance within the realm of residing in the “Goldilocks Zone”, and comfortable existing with Aristotelian Means of sorts, the longer the experience went on, the more the game felt like it was missing essential parts of it’s more challenging disposition from days past.

The big saving grace is that where we lost mechanical nuance we gained glorious new visuals

I think the final nail in the coffin for me, on how much I was going to focus on this idiot proofing gone awry, was with just how much of a slow ball lob the tennis match between Link and Phantom Ganon was, as the magical balls he launches at Link feel absurdly slow, almost to the point where they almost come off as non-threatening. I guess that tracks though: outside of the aforementioned Stalfos’ fights, the Forest Temple in the remake started with more modesty, persisted with a more modest framework, and then logically, wraps up modestly to maintain a sense of consistency through the whole affair.


It’s always unfortunate when a characters introduction is their peak moment and just goes downhill from there

While the Forest Temple still stands out as a cool level for a number of reasons, the abhorent nature with the dungeon being almost entirely void of challenge was definitely a let down, and I am afeared that the other temples may have suffered the same fate. As the game unravels before me, it is starting to feel like less of a 1:1 remake in terms of where mechanics are concerned, and more of a half step…in the wrong direction, mind you, that is the unfortunate reality I keep facing as time goes on.


At least the new Deku Tree Sapling is still the silliest little dorky goober boop

Let’s cross our fingers the Fire Temple keeps the heat on…but I’m not holding my breath.

~Pashford