007
-
As Mark Twain asserted; history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. This would go a long way in explaining why my philosophical lamentations sound so sing songy Here we are, at the end of all things. At least, at the end of all things GoldenEye 64 related, as we bring to a close a… Read more
-
Bonus content and secret levels in video games are great for two important reasons: one, they act as a nice surprise that keeps me playing longer, and two, playing longer means effortlessly extending the amount of time before I have to return to the real world and deal with the endless litany of annoying assholes… Read more
-
While the Marvel Cinematic Universe gets a lot of praise for post credits surprises, they were not the first ones to do it, as the Muppets beat them to the punch decades before hand. When worlds collide: the thought of Animal being apart of The Avengers initiative holds great interest for me With 007 finally… Read more
-
A sentiment I touched upon recently, and one that relates to an age old wisdom, is that the journey is always more interesting than the destination. The gooners know…good lord, do they know Finally out of the deep, dark depths of the Caverns that our winding narrative took us through, GoldenEye 64 reaches its apex… Read more
-
Though this next bit of darkly shaded humor may mean nothing to you at the moment, after reading this write-up about one of the final missions in GoldenEye, I urge you to go read The Myth of Sisyphus (or at least a tl;dr summary), to truly appreciate the idea behind the premise of this article,… Read more
-
We get by with a little help from our friends… …no matter what’s on the agenda for the day After admiring some trans-continental bilingualism in the form of broadcasting self-aware meta media-literacy on a train yesterday, we move on from a proper derailing and find our selves in the Jungle, as our replay of GoldenEye… Read more
-
Sticking the landing is key in any good routine We often end up being victims of our own success After a dreadful mucking about in a metaphoric desert, one overflowing with conceptual sand of a coarse and irritating nature by even the roughest of standards, we gasp dryly for some kind of refreshing sense of… Read more
-
We all end up “oofing” every now and then, even the best of us… …it’s only when the oofing continues to persist does it end up turning into a big ole pile of yikes LAST TIME, ON GOLDENEYE Z! 64!, after super sonic racing right through the Archives level, in a fine testament to speedrunning,… Read more
-
An old turn of phrase suggests one “stop to smell the roses”. Whoever said this never stopped to consider the possibility of one having taken a shit in the flower bed before you got there, and now you’re profusely gagging after taking a huge whiff of floral asshole Today, on our continuing replay of GoldenEye… Read more
-
In the grand alchemical experiment that is life, it always boils down to just how many failures it takes to amass before one is finally able to transmute all of them into a single success. Basically every speedrunner’s mantra As we press on with our replay of GoldenEye 64, it’s hard for me to tell… Read more
-
They say never judge a book by its cover. People say a lot of stupid fucking things, don’t they? As we move forward with our replay of GoldenEye 64, after a brief excursion into totally off the map, extra canonical bullshit territory, with our trapesing through the terrifying terrain that troublingly terrorizes with titanic thermonbaric… Read more
-
Amdist the bombast and the bullet holes, the violence born of national woes, stands tall and proud the human spirit, with all of their eloquent prose. Well, if it’s true what they say about people being made in “god’s image”, then god is just some freak ass gooner chud pumping loads to Power Rangers porn… Read more
-
“Men are more governed by their passions then reason”, a paraphrasing of a sentiment expressed by philosopher David Hume. In the realm of gaming, this loosely translates to: hang the sense of it, ask yourself the real question: is it cool? Cool happens when your heart is in the right place Dovetailing from my last… Read more