We get by with a little help from our friends…


…no matter what’s on the agenda for the day

After admiring some trans-continental bilingualism in the form of broadcasting self-aware meta media-literacy on a train yesterday, we move on from a proper derailing and find our selves in the Jungle, as our replay of GoldenEye 64 continues, and our Bonding Experience enters its endgame phase.

Just as an aside (kind of), this next pint of interest comes up as a citation of the content of my last article, as the write-up brought with it both hills and valleys of commentary within it, and the proper complexity any critique worth its salt rightly possesses. I usually avoid the more straight forward approach of reviews on video games, as I think they represent a bygone era of prehistoric need within the realm of the medium, and often times come off as lowgrade stealth advertising; gaming jorunalism is largely an enthusiast press affair, so this tracks thoroughly.

I was never a fan of them anyways, always cringing when I had to conjure some farcical number to distill an entire experience down into. I’ve tried to be a little more concise with my language in terms of giving “ups” when possible, but feel the need to point out: whether viewing this as consumer product, storytelling, or a piece of art, they all come ladened with multi-dimensional baggage, none of the described nouns just mentioned ever being above flaw or one quality alone. Mixing this acknowledgment in with my protestations of fanboyism, and a complete lack of concern of being a patsy for any brand or faux ideological favoritism, whether it be stanning for a creative or placating myself as a spineless cherub for consumerism, these appeals are beneath me. My allegiance is to thought and reason alone, and it shall remain as such.

I mention this now, as some people in the past have made note that by articles end, they had trouble telling if I liked the game or not, and that is more or less the point. There are pros and cons, and I think there is far more worth taking both into consideration and encouraging you to decide for yourself how it makes you feel and think, instead of me spoon feeding you a narrative of quality which to choke down. I may have to put a pin on this detoured exposition of critique, however, as I think my point has been made clear enough, and I fear continuing to elaborate will subsume this entire piece, so on we press.

Digressing slightly; I posit we are in the endgame now, as entering the Jungle kind of puts us within territory of the hardest levels in the game. In the movie runtime, we are only about twenty minutes from the end, and by the time Bond and Natalya get to the Jungle, the rest of the film is so fast paced, it almost feels as if a blink and you’ll miss it moment, which I suppose speaks to how well the editing and pacing turns out to wrap this whole thing up. However, depending on the familiarity the player has with the game itself, only compounded exponentially by difficulty involved, you will be playing these next four missions at length…and possibly many times over.

The Jungle is greatly expanded in the game, as in the film, it basically boils down to “the boss battle” between Bond and Onatopp, which isn’t much of a hangup for 007, though I can’t say the same for how the fight ends for ole’ thunder thighs, sadly. The boss battle does occur in the Jungle level, but there is a “whole ass” Jungle to get through, and a cave system following it, so there is a lot of breathing room to get acquainted with the local flora and fauna to be found.

In light of my historically high count of replays of this game, both past and present, it is at this point I start to become disullusioned by the difficulty, as per my Depot article, I became so antsy in how mind numbingly easy Agent was, I did a quick blow-through of the entire game on 00 Agent in one fail swoop, so I think my practice at this point betrays my sense of challenge in this final stretch, as we are entering some of the most bastardly levels this game can throw at you, but can be circumvented easily enough with some slight of hand.

Having said that, I also do have to remind myself not to conflate this Jungle level with the Jungle level in Perfect Dark Zero, a topic I (briefly) touched upon a long time ago. While it might seem weird you may think that I would confuse an N64 James Bond game with an Xbox 360 Perfect Dark title, there is enough “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” like relevancy blended between the two that my virtual PTSD triggers in a guilt by association moment, as the PDZ Jungle level, especially on Dark Agent mode, still haunts my vivid nightmares for how unspeakably heinous the design of the level truly represents. GoldenEye’s by comparison, looks like a barely working alpha build of what evil is to come, though there is plenty in the way of annoyance that will pop up.

I think it is also worth it to mention the irony of Jungle/Forest based levels on older(?) hardware, with the problem I’m about to mention slowly improving over time, where I don’t think it’s much of an issue these days, involves the paradox of openness, in that attempting to make these grand, outdoor environments full of the idea of volume and expansive terrain, developers ideas of Jungles/Forests and the like, end up being these green, narrow tubes, that almost feel even more restrictive than their indoor counterparts, due to the illusion being instantly shattered that you are essentially just walking down this green narrow tube with a fuzzy, pixelated static background stopping you from exploring.ten feet in either direction, the attempt creative the inverse effect desired.

This relates on some level to a piece I did called the Meta-Narrative Hallway, where player interpretation is integral in creating the fantasy, and also concocting their own standards thereafter. The article is honestly a mad piece of fucking work, that I have to go back and attempt to fully wrap my head around again, as my brain must have been sleep depraved beyond imagination and caffeinated the fuck out when I wrote it, but there are still some great concepts in there to revisit and carry forward

In any case, the simulacrum of virtual realities comes with many caveats, and detail and depth become major hang ups in the aesthetic process…even something like a field you may think, it would be really hard to fuck up a field, and yet, so many have decried even the greatest of games from the N64 era in doing so, like Ocarina of Time for instance, in reference to within a single console generation, you had gamers looking back and seeing Hyrule Field as just this vast space of empty nothingness. With full respect to Ocarina, and while not the same genre, The Elder Scrolls series would see its third installment, Morrowind, came out in 2002, and the whole idea of 3D open world games kind of transformed over night, so it’s not without fair precedence that these lamentations are made.

I’m meandering a bit here, but I think I’m expressing these thoughts now, as there remains relation to GoldenEye’s Jungle of “Green, Narrow Tubing” that is the Jungle, and future article ideas; best not to abandon fleeting thoughts, lest they flee you with meaning in tow. So yes, ultimately, there is a paradox of openness involved with this Jungle, in all of its green, narrow “tubeyness”, but its what we’ve go to work with, so on we push.

The one saving grace of this mission is that, even on 00 Agent, Body Armor is available to pick up, which is a rarity on that difficulty, and only reserved for the worst missions in the title, the ones where even the devs who brought to us the Turbo Tunnel in Battletoads and the Mary Canary race in Banjo-Tooie thought to themselves “now now, let’s not be totally cruel psychopaths about challenging the player”, and grant you body armor on every difficulty level in the case of the truly profane. Obviously, there’s loads on Agent, so you will have life bars to spare. Which is good, as you are going to need it, as most weapons on this level will shred you down to absolute nothingness in mere seconds if given the opportunity.

I amend my previous statement, in there being only one saving grace in reference to the Jungle, as this is the one and only mission Natalya actually comes equipped with a firearm! Why this is the only time they see fit to do such a thing, I haven’t a clue, but now is not the time for questions, now is the time for shooting. She luckily comes packing with a magnum revolver with infinite ammo, so she’ll be doing just fine against Janus henchmen. An added benefit of how the enemy AI is programmed here, is that they largely just disregard that Natalya exists (though I have seen one unload a clip of AR into her chest and still didn’t even flinch), which means as long as you aren’t booking it through the greenery, and slowly work your way up, she becomes an unassailable killing machine with unlimited ammo, so patience is truly a virtue in this mission.

To that point, and largely in part to demystify this false prophet of tomfoolery, in doing myself a favor from further untangling the mixed memories of the PDZ Jungle with the GoldenEye Jungle once and for all, I replayed this level on 00 Agent (after my other replay, mind you), just to see if Natalya’s newfound status as an Ubermencsh was just an incidental silver lining benefit of being on easy mode, but no, she is a showstopper on OO Agent as well, even downing the boss of this level, Onatopp, with nearly zero effort, which ends up making the grand majority of this level a walk in the park, completely upending my memory of how dreaful this level was, due to PDZ’s foul footing in my memory banks.

I know I bring this up a lot, but it bears repeating now, even aside from the poor recollection of the difficulty involved with this level, due to PDZ time-wimey shenanigans, I’m also guessing when I was younger and had to play this with a less refined eye, I was being a complete basket case of nerves and panic, and was violating the very pretense I set down in my Turn Signal Paradox article, a relative truth I dreamt up in another Jungle with a different secret agent and a similar group of Communist baddies to dispose of, but the pretense ended up being the same: virtuousness shall set you free, and with just a little effort in paying attention, discerning care, and a modicum of patience, one can completely change their life, virtual or otherwise, right overnight. Give it a try sometime if you haven’t already, and get ready to enjoy a real game changer/life saver dichotomy.

FPS bosses are always a mixed bag, as you either have to make them bullet sponges, or multi-stage affairs (though sometimes both in conjunction), as realistically, the fight ends in mere seconds, creating a totally anticlimactic scenario, completely at odds with the tension, suspense, and narrative built up to that point. Considering how simplistic GoldenEye is in execution, something like a straight up fight, like against Onatopp, was never going to standout as an impressive moment in design. Add in Natalya “The Ubermensch” Simonova to the mix, and the whole thing can end without you firing a bullet. C’est la vie. At least you can play around with the RCP-90 Onatopp drops, a rare moment you get to appreciate such a magnificent bullet hose of its caliber in the campaign.

The ending is the only part you can’t utilize the Ubermensching strat with your Russian hacker lady friend, as the cavern portion at the end isn’t quite as conducive in her getting good shots off, as you need to progress for her to do that, it’s a very narrow space, and the AR-33’s the troops have a ridiculous firing rate, so this is the moment that having Natalya do a lot of the heavy lifting prior, will have hopefully let you save plenty of health and stockpiled some ammo, cause you will need it here. One of the objectives involves taking out drone guns, which is never a fun time, but they completely ignore Nat, so they aren’t complete headaches, and unlike that psychotically programmed drone gun like in the Depot level, they take a second to whir up, so you can usually blow them up with a well placed AR burst with a quick peek a boo from out of cover before they do you in. They can and are likely to be the enders to your mission however, if you let your arrogance betray you, so mind the gap.

The end of the mission also has an unfortunate number of grenade huckers, which can be an instant death, depending on how dead center you are in the explosion vs remaining health, as explosives in this game do ridiculous area of effect damage, so be mindful of this. You will also have to push at the end, right in front of the elevator with the cavern hollow littered with boxes, as they will “Severnaya” your ass flat with infinitely spawning troops if you stay put, so it is definitely one of those moments you’re going to have to risk it for the biscuit to make it count. You may also want to run backwards towards the elevator shooting, so as to provide some cover fire for yourself upon exit, as I have attempted to blindly book it in the past, and have bitten the bullet while literally on the elevator floor, dying as the fade to black prompted up to commence the end of level cinematic. Goodness gracious, my blood pressure levels that day…

All in all, fairly straight forward level, and one that is infinitely more palatable, the more virtue one has at their disposal. This is all for the best, as well, as we are about to enter one of the most frustrating levels of the game, so a clear head will be key to decisive victory.

But first, how about some muzak to lighten the load?
~Pashford